Living with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or autism presents unique challenges, but with the right support, you can learn more about yourself and then the opportunities are endless. At Coastal Collaborative Care, we specialize in neurodivergent-affirming therapy, offering support for ADHD and autism.
Our goal is to help teens and adults develop strategies to improve focus, organization, and impulse control, while fostering self-acceptance and compassion toward themselves and how their brain works.
We create a space where individuals can embrace their neurodivergent minds, harness their strengths, and navigate challenges with confidence and understanding.
Coastal Collaborative Care provides neurodivergent-affirming therapy in Virginia and other states throughout the country.
The Challenges of Being Neurodivergent in Our World
Living in a world that often prioritizes “neurotypical” ways of thinking and behaving can make being neurodivergent incredibly challenging. Whether it’s navigating social expectations, managing the pressure to mask, or dealing with systems that are not designed to accommodate different cognitive styles, the world can feel overwhelming.
Neurodivergent individuals, including autistic and those with ADHD, may face judgment, misunderstanding, and frustration simply for existing as they are. However, it’s important to remember that these challenges don’t diminish their value or worth.
Therapy provides a space to explore these difficulties, develop strategies that work for you, and, most importantly, foster self-compassion.
How Neurodivergent Affirming Therapy Can Help
ADHD affects attention, time management, and emotional regulation, often making daily tasks feel overwhelming. Someone with autism could struggle with social communication, executive functioning, and the effects of masking. Our therapists provide personalized strategies to help you:
- Accept both the challenges and the strengths that come with being neurodivergent
- Improve focus and reduce distractions
- Enhance organization and planning skills
- Manage impulsivity and emotional responses
- Become aware of your masking strategies and learn how to embrace your authentic self
- Boost self-esteem and confidence
Therapy helps you work with your neurodivergent brain instead of against it, giving you tools to succeed at work, school, and in relationships.
Below we have provided information about ADHD and autism.
Understanding ADHD and Its Impact
ADHD presents differently across individuals, with three main types:
Inattentive
Difficulty focusing, forgetfulness and disorganization
Hyperactive – Impulsive
Fidgeting, excessive talking, impulsive decisions
Combined
A mix of both inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive symptoms
Common symptoms include trouble following instructions, frequent daydreaming, and difficulty completing homework, workload, and daily responsibilities. Some may struggle with time management, procrastination, forgetfulness, and maintaining personal or professional relationships.
ADHD and Gender Differences
Biological Differences
Hormonal differences between those assigned female at birth (AFAB) and those assigned male at birth (AMAB) significantly impact how ADHD symptoms manifest and fluctuate.
Testosterone, which is higher in AMAB individuals, tends to exacerbate hyperactivity and impulsivity. On the other hand, AFAB individuals, influenced by estrogen and progesterone, often experience a fluctuation in ADHD symptoms, especially in relation to their menstrual cycle.
While biological sex plays a role in symptom expression, gender identity also contributes to the experience of ADHD, as coping mechanisms and societal expectations can vary.
Boys (AMAB individuals) with ADHD often exhibit more overt and disruptive behaviors, which leads to an earlier diagnosis. In contrast, girls (AFAB individuals) tend to be diagnosed later, sometimes only after their symptoms cause significant emotional distress or impair daily functioning. Due to these less obvious presentations, many AFAB individuals are initially misdiagnosed with depression or anxiety before their ADHD is properly recognized.
Gender Identity & Social Expectations
Societal expectations for AMAB individuals often emphasize physical activity and external behaviors, meaning that symptoms like hyperactivity may be more accepted or even understood in the context of traditional male roles.
For AFAB individuals, however, the socialization process typically encourages traits like organization, calmness, and compliance. As a result, many AFAB individuals with ADHD compensate by becoming perfectionistic or relying heavily on compensatory strategies such as overworking or making excessive to-do lists. While these strategies may temporarily mask ADHD symptoms, they often lead to eventual burnout.
Gender Identity & Internalization of Symptoms
AMAB individuals with ADHD may exhibit more outwardly disruptive symptoms, drawing attention to their struggles. In contrast, AFAB individuals often internalize their ADHD symptoms, which can lead to higher rates of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Because their symptoms are less visible, AFAB individuals may struggle with feelings of inadequacy or self-criticism, which can make it more challenging to get the help they need.
Gender Identity & Inattention vs. Hyperactivity
ADHD in AMAB individuals tends to manifest with more noticeable hyperactivity and impulsivity, such as fidgeting, acting out, or being disruptive, which are easily observable by others. In contrast, AFAB individuals often experience hyperactivity in more internal forms, such as being hyperverbal, hyper-relational, or having racing thoughts and a “quick mind.”
Additionally, AFAB individuals commonly experience inattention-related symptoms like forgetfulness, distractibility, and disorganization. These symptoms can cause difficulties with focus and task completion but are less noticeable and often go unrecognized.
Understanding Autism and Its Impact
It’s important to remember that “when you meet one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism.” – Stephen Shore
Autism, often referred to as the autism spectrum, is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects social interaction, communication, and behavior in a variety of ways. Autism is often described as a spectrum, reflecting the wide range of experiences and support needs among autistic individuals.
Those with high support needs may face significant challenges in communication, social interaction, and daily living, often requiring ongoing assistance and specialized care. On the other hand, individuals with low support needs might have fewer outwardly visible challenges in these areas and can often navigate daily life with less assistance.
However, even those with low support needs may still experience difficulties, such as sensory overload or social misunderstandings. It’s important to remember that support needs can vary widely and are not always tied to a person’s intellectual ability. Every autistic individual has a unique experience, and their support needs can change over time.
Many people in the autism community prefer the term ‘autistic’ rather than ‘person with autism,’ emphasizing that autism is an integral part of who they are. Understanding, acceptance, and early support can help individuals thrive, promoting independence and well-being.
Minimal Support Need Autism (Level 1 Autism)
Minimal support needs autism refers to individuals who may not require extensive support in their daily lives but still experience differences in areas such as social communication, executive functioning, or sensory processing.
These individuals often navigate the world with a unique perspective, and their neurodivergent traits may sometimes go unrecognized because they don’t fit traditional expectations of autism. People with minimal support needs autism may have strengths like creativity, attention to detail, and problem-solving, but can still face challenges in areas like organization, social interaction, or managing transitions.
Therapy for minimal support needs autism focuses on helping individuals embrace their neurodivergent traits, develop strategies for managing challenges, and celebrate their authentic selves, all while navigating the world in a way that works for them.
It’s also important to note that while the language now tends to be “low support needs autistic,” an autistic person may need varying levels of support on different days, or even at different times throughout the same day.
What is Masking?
Masking refers to the act of concealing or suppressing natural behaviors, emotions, and traits to fit in or meet societal expectations. For individuals with ADHD and minimal support needs autism, masking often involves hiding traits like inattention, impulsivity, or social communication differences in order to appear “neurotypical.” This can be mentally exhausting and may lead to increased anxiety, stress, or burnout over time.
In therapy, we help individuals recognize when they are masking, and work toward embracing their authentic selves, allowing them to navigate the world more comfortably and with greater self-acceptance.
Whether it’s masking ADHD traits like forgetfulness or hyperactivity, or suppressing autism-related differences like challenges with social cues or communication, therapy offers a space for individuals to unmask and feel empowered to express their true identity.
Neurodivergent Affirming Therapy Approaches
We offer therapy for those with ADHD and autistic people in Virginia, tailored to individual needs. With your therapist, you can learn how to:
- Break down large tasks into manageable steps
- Identify and overcome negative thought patterns
- Develop time-management and organizational skills
- Increase self-awareness, including managing impulse, stress, and emotions
- Accept imperfection and practice self-kindness
- Learning tools for staying organized and productive
- Unmasking
- Improving social communication
- Managing executive functioning challenges
We also offer parent sessions to help families implement effective strategies at home to support teens with ADHD and who are autistic.
While we are not specialists in autism, we are autism-affirming and committed to creating a supportive, inclusive environment for individuals on the autism spectrum. We may not have all the expertise, but we strive to understand and respect the unique needs of autistic individuals. Our focus is on offering tailored assistance that honors each person’s strengths and challenges, and we are always open to learning and adapting to provide the best support possible.
Why Choose Coastal Collaborative Care for Neurodivergent Support & Affirming Therapy in Virginia?
- Neurodivergent Affirming: We validate different cognitive experiences, reject harmful stereotypes or stigmas surrounding neurodivergence, and highlight the unique strengths and talents that neurodivergent individuals often possess
- Personalized Treatment Plans: We tailor strategies to your unique needs and lifestyle.
- Flexible Therapy Options: We offer both in-person therapy in Alexandria, Norfolk, and Fredericksburg, as well as online therapy throughout Virginia.
- Support for Families: Parents and partners can receive guidance on how to effectively support loved ones with ADHD and autism.
- ADHD Certified Clinical Services Provider: Our therapist, Kelsey West, is an ADHD Certified Clinical Services Provider. She can support anyone on our team who may need consultation around supporting someone with ADHD.
- Dedication to Continued Learning: We are committed to staying informed about the latest research, best practices, and evolving approaches in neurodivergent care. Our team regularly participates in professional development, training, and workshops to ensure we are offering the most effective support and care. have a therapist on our team, Kelsey West, who has this certification.
Learn More about How to Work With Your Brain and Thrive
With the right therapy, you can learn to improve focus and build confidence in yourself as you are.
Ready to get started? Contact Coastal Collaborative Care today to schedule a consultation and find the right neurodivergent-affirming therapist for you or your teen.