Pregnancy is a time of immense physical, emotional, and psychological change. During this period, many women place their trust in their healthcare providers to guide them through the journey with care and expertise. Unfortunately, not all experiences with medical professionals are positive. For some, the process is marred by discrimination, especially weight bias.
Personal Experience
I recently had a deeply frustrating experience with a doctor that left me feeling unheard and misunderstood. During my appointment, the doctor made fat-phobic comments and was jumping to conclusions about my health, trying to put me on unnecessary medication. When I spoke up about the inaccuracies being presented, I was quickly dismissed and made to feel like I was in the wrong, being greeted with “I’m just trying to help your baby.”
This encounter made me realize how important it is for women—especially those who are pregnant or planning to be—to be advocates for their own health.
Weight Bias in the Medical Community Increasing the Rise of “Mom Guilt”
Weight bias is a pervasive issue in healthcare. Many individuals of larger body sizes report feeling stigmatized by medical professionals, who may focus too much on weight rather than a holistic approach to health. For pregnant women, this can manifest in harmful ways. Instead of focusing on the overall well-being of the mother and baby, weight becomes a focal point of discussion. Medical professionals may assume that excess weight is the primary factor influencing health outcomes, overlooking other critical aspects of care.
Another harmful way weight bias and weight focused medical care can impact expectant mothers is by creating or exacerbating feelings of “mom guilt”. Expectant mothers are already under immense pressure to ensure the health and well-being of their baby, and weight-related remarks from healthcare professionals can further amplify this anxiety. When a doctor or nurse makes a comment about a mother’s size, it can make her feel as though she’s not doing enough for her baby—despite the fact that her weight alone may have no bearing on the child’s health.
Such comments can lead mothers to question whether they are taking adequate care of themselves or their baby. A doctor might suggest that an expectant mother’s weight could harm her baby or increase the risk of complications, even when the reality may be more nuanced. These well-meaning, but fatphobic, comments can result in the mom-to-be feeling guilty, as if her body’s natural shape and size are an active threat to her child’s well-being.
This “mom guilt” can quickly spiral, causing expectant mothers to over-focus on their weight and dieting rather than on their emotional, physical, and mental well-being. This shift in focus can create stress, anxiety, and even depression. A pregnant person who feels guilt over their weight may internalize harmful stereotypes about themselves and their ability to be a good mother. This can further exacerbate the stress and fear that many experience during pregnancy, leading to a heightened risk of postpartum mental health issues, such as postpartum depression and anxiety.
Why It’s Important to Advocate for Yourself
Pregnancy is a time when women should feel supported, not shamed or dismissed. Unfortunately, when weight bias becomes a factor, it can leave women feeling powerless and ignored. The reality is that every woman’s pregnancy is unique, and we know our bodies better than anyone. That’s why it’s crucial to advocate for yourself, especially when it comes to your health and well-being.
For many of us, pregnancy already makes us feel physically vulnerable, but being in an appointment where we’re not heard or taken seriously makes us even more vulnerable. It can be disheartening when a doctor dismisses your knowledge of your body, but it’s important to remember that your voice matters.
If you feel that your doctor isn’t listening, don’t be afraid to speak up. Ask questions. Request clarification. Bring up any concerns you have, especially if something doesn’t seem right to you. You deserve to be treated with respect, and your health needs to be prioritized.
Practical Tips for Advocating for Yourself During Pregnancy
- Trust Your Instincts: You know your body better than anyone else. If something feels off, speak up. It’s your right to have accurate, respectful, and thorough care during your pregnancy.
- Document Your Symptoms: Keep track of your symptoms and experiences. This will help provide a clear picture of your health and assist in communication with your medical provider. Some examples of symptoms to monitor in pregnancy can include, but aren’t limited to: blood pressure, headaches, shortness of breath, joint pain, baby movements, changes in discharge, fatigue, changes in mood, etc.
- Find a Doctor Who Respects You: If you find yourself consistently encountering weight bias or feeling dismissed, it may be time to seek out a different healthcare provider. You deserve a doctor who respects you as a person and listens to your concerns.
After my experience, I called the practice and requested a note be added to my chart to never be scheduled with that doctor again. In future appointments with different providers, I also shared my experience so they were aware and willing to hear my concerns and address them.
- Ask Questions: Never hesitate to ask for clarification on any medical advice or information. It’s important to understand what’s happening to your body, and your doctor should be willing to explain things clearly and thoroughly.
- Bring Support: If possible, bring a friend, partner, or family member to appointments. Sometimes having another voice can help you feel more empowered to advocate for yourself.
A Call to Action: Ending Weight Bias in Pregnancy Care
My experience reminded me of just how important it is to create an environment in healthcare where women feel empowered, especially during pregnancy. We need a system that doesn’t shame women for their bodies but instead supports them in every aspect of their health.
For women who are pregnant or planning to be, it’s vital to ensure that weight isn’t the focus of care, but rather, that all aspects of maternal and fetal health are treated with the respect they deserve.
As women, we deserve better. We deserve doctors who listen, who offer care based on evidence and compassion, and who do not reduce us to our size or weight.
Our journey into motherhood should be one of support, not judgment. Pregnancy should be a time of joy and anticipation, not one marred by discrimination or biased treatment. Every pregnant person, regardless of their weight, deserves access to high-quality, respectful, and comprehensive care.
If you are pregnant, planning a pregnancy, or just navigating your healthcare, remember this: Your voice matters. Advocate for yourself. You deserve to be heard.
About The Author
Marissa is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) who received her Bachelor’s in Psychology from the University of Mary Washington, and her Master’s in Social Work (MSW) from George Mason University.
She has extensive experience working with clients who struggle with eating disorders, depressive disorders, anxiety disorders, trauma, and grief. She utilizes evidence-based and trauma-informed modalities such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), Polyvagal Theory, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).
Marissa provides virtual therapy across Virginia and Vermont. She also sees clients in-person in our Fredericksburg, VA office.
